Thursday, April 30, 2009

New Stuff

-Cut my hair. . . pretty short. . .Matthew looooooooooooves it. . .its all for you Luver.
-13 weeks. . .heartbeat good:) and kickin. . .bumps a showing. . .nausea is subsiding, yeah!
-Bought a storage ottoman. . . 18$. . .yes brand new. . .coveted one for many years. . . used some of my birthday money. . .thank you Mom. Now the nights of Net Flicks are complete my Luv:)
-Given a school desk for CharLee to put in the kitchen. . .thank you Crystal it will be perfect.
-Spent time with our future owners of the home. . .they are so great. . .The Gines. . .One little 2year old girl. . .so excited for them they will love it here and fit right in.
-Packing is progressing. . .so thankful for everyone in our lives that has helped. . .Moms, Dads, Friends, Family, Bro. Smoot, Bishop. . . Thank you:)

Monday, April 27, 2009

Count Down

So I cleaned out my pantry today and felt pretty good about the progress of the packing made in a week. It is serious countdown time for the not so big move we were anticipating to California. I am a bit relieved we are not moving to California, its beautiful and my family is there, but that is not where I feel at home. The magestic mountains give me comfort, the coziness of a White Christmas, the cost of living is much less, I feel more at ease raising my kids, familiar faces and family oriented eniviroment, less crazy freeways,  my baby doctor is here, Handsome's whole extended family is here and the list goes on.  Don't get me wrong, I really really love the beauty of California and especially the ocean.  I think it would be lots of fun to live in California but not really the place we want to raise a family. . . I never felt at home there even when my family moved there. . . its just not home. . . it feels like a great vacation getaway.  I guess you feel more at home with where your roots were planted. Saturday is the day, just hope the weather is happy:)


Friday, April 24, 2009

Perfect Simple Birthday

Today I was born. 29 years ago. . .so grateful for each year I get to spend with my family on this beautiful but challenging earth. Handsome asked me what I wanted for my birth. I really couldn't think of much. My first response was a Home (that was before we knew where we were going), then I mentioned food storage (of which is not so exciting to give), and being pregnant and not feeling like any sort of Cake it was hard to think of b-day dessert. I did mention I wanted my Christ Healing at Bethesda print in a frame , and then I found one in our basement and was so excited to frame, it I did it myself. I guess I am not much fun this year. I ended up telling Handsome he could go pick out some small things but his limit was $50, I really don't NEED anything. This morning I woke to sweet CharLee singing to me and Beau curled up next to my head, and the Handsome sound asleep. . . he was up with Beau at 3a.m, bless him.  Handsome then made me cracked wheat and CharLee was anxious for the gifts as usual.  I received 2 very simple but so needed gifts. CharLee wrote me the most precious card telling me of all the gifts he was to give in addition to the one in the bag. . . ie. date night with Mom, a surpise Mario Kart challenge etc. He gave me 4 lovely grapefruit spoons. The Luvs know how much I have been loving grapefruit with my tart cravings, and I am always saying I can never find a spoon, it was perfect! Then I received my 2nd oh so needed gift. A week ago when i was changing out our bed sheets, I noticed that the sheets on our bed were threads away from tearing in half. The Handsome remembered me saying something about it, and so I received beautiful soft khaki sheets! I was so excited for these so needed simple gifts from my little family's heart.

As for the day I did put in my request. I wanted to go do sealings with Handsome, but I'm afraid we will save it for another day, Beau is a little sick.  Then this afternoon when CharLee gets home we are going to pack a picnic, buy some good tart raspberry&lime shakes and go to this beautiful meadow park near where we will be living soon. We plan to also take hyper Elle pup with us to do a little fetch. I am so excited for a day of  simple beautiful time with my little family. .  .A simply perfect birthday, I love it!

Tuesday, April 21, 2009

10 years

I don't know why I have had these reminiscing thoughts this morning. Maybe its because a new Chapter of it is about to unfold and maybe because I am turning another year older. I was just thinking back to the sweet diversity  of my life in the past 10 years. 10 years ago. . . 

-Living in Europe thinking it was my epic dream to be a model, little did I know.
-Came home, go back to BYU to do Fine Art degree and find a Luv
-Went through many mates to find, I wanted to serve a mission
-Met Handsome. . .sat in dirt at campfire,warm embrace,MI2, danced in the ampitheatre, moonlight, rain. . .fell for him in London.
-Alone in a Theatre, Handsome rose from the stage, serenading me "Angel in the Moonlight," will you spend Eternity with me.
-"Mission" deferred to the best choice in my life. . . Handsome, married Mt Timp Temple, road trip honeymoon
-Pretty much Honeymoon Preggers, Surprise!
-Seizures, found tumor in brain,Handsome holds me
-CharLee arrives safely, picked out my kitty Milano. . waited 20 years for kitty
-Living in Parents basement single room, Handsome graduates,1 more year in basement
-Certify Baptiste Yoga, regain balance
-Move to California by Parents 2 years, teach Yoga, develope 100's of recipes,eat lots of avocados, told CharLee may have Autism. . .knew he would pull through strong.
-Handsome and I dream of  Living Art Digital, Disneyland
-Move to Utah Alpine
-IUD trauma in hospital 12 days, was told I may not have any more children, told them I would
-NYU online photography degree
-Build our first home in Pretts Place, feel tremendously blessed and undeserving
-Become preggers with Beau,waited 6 years, high risk uninsured setbacks
-Beau arrives beautiful, Puppy Elle also joins the family
-Love our life in Pretts. . . feel blessed every moment
-Pray, Move?, become surprisingly preggers with 3rd child Fenix
-Sold house in 2 days, found home after looking at 30
-Feel Peace and a bit morning sick
-Feel Gratitude
-Life is Beautiful

Sure there is much more that occurred, these are the few flashbacks I had as packing this morn. 



This morning. 

"CharLee how did you get so handsome?"  (CharLee)"Maybe its about you."
"Handsome, How did you get to be so Handsome?"    (Handsome) "I married you." 

Didn't know I had that kind of power:)


Monday, April 20, 2009

Bubble Thoughts

Just hoping I will feel less icky for my B-day and packing up the house. Baby Fenix you can do it:) Just woke up from a lovely nap.

Beau is so adorable running around singing the first line of "I Know You. . .," from Sleeping Beauty. That's my girl, that was Mommy's favorite. Parents even used to call me Rose.

CharLee is thrilled with the outcome of his little garage/bake sale he put on last Saturday. We only had to make 1 run to DI and the only sacrafice was the broken cookie plater little Beaustroyer did her work on. I took him to pick out a game at GameStop. It seems to be making the move a little sweeter for him and me. 

Handsome works and works and works. Maybe the move hopefully will relieve some of that. He works so long and hard. . .lets go have a siesta my Love and maybe a little"wrong side of business".


Friday, April 17, 2009

A Home

We found a place of residence, at least for the next year. We are scheduled to move out last week in April. Crazy quick; however, we feel really good about it. It is just a bit east and closer to Utah Lake. Around the corner is a big playground, duck pond and running trails through some beautiful lakeside trees. It could be just what we need for the next while. . .and then who knows where we'll be led. I am so thankful for some answers. . . feeling a bit more settled inside. 

Thursday, April 16, 2009

Angels of Comfort

So out and about today, looking at the prospects of new options in home searching. Handsome and I really felt good about this home by the Lake.  While we were there we met an amazing couple from Isreal. We really met them by happen stance looking for homes and we decided to call them about one of theirs for rent. They ended up showing us 4 homes, talked about delish tabbouleh,hummus, falafel ,tahini etc. The kind woman put her coat around me to keep me warm inside the homes and kept reassuring me that Heavenly Father would take care of us and lead us to where we needed to be and that this time of stress was difficult and its okay. I don't know why Heavenly Father sent them out of the wood work, but I needed  it.  I needed to just hear again and step back and see that all this was good and we are being led and all that matters is my children, the new life inside of me,the Handsome and my relationship with my Maker. . . who has not left us alone but continues to bless and lead us, just like he has in the past. Did we feel good about any of the homes the sweet couple showed us, not really. But it was one of those times where Heavenly Father sent someone as an angel of comfort. I am grateful for all the Angels in our life that have shown such love and comfort. . . I really have needed it just as I have many times before. I feel so blessed.

Luvs, Gpants

Wednesday, April 15, 2009


So for almost 2 days after we sold our home, I basked a little in my own pathetic pittyness. Now that that is over. . .I have reflected a lot on our challenging but oh so magnificently sweet life me and the "Handsome" have been blessed to enjoy. I have followed this particular  sisters blog for quite some time, relating to many of her heart felt experiences and emotions going through difficult times of which we all do. This was a recent excerpt that touched my heart from her "Nie Nie Dialouges" blog. I recommend if your ever having a "self pity party" like I was. . .stop. . .and count your many blessings name them one by one. I CAN do ALL this, I'm trying at least. That's for you Handsome:)

I remember as our plane violently crashed to the ground, I tucked my head down on my knees and prayed. I was not alone then. I felt rather calm in a very troubled moment which seemed to last forever. The plane whistled fast downward and in my head I saw my children. I saw them laughing and smiling. It was touching in such a dramatic time yet another peaceful reminder that I was not alone then, and certainly not now.
I am grateful for my relationship with my Maker. He has preserved my life, given me a second chance and presented me with new challenges that I am ready to face here on this beautiful earth. All that I am is for my children and for my husband but especially to my Father in heaven. I am trying to live selfless in a selfish world and it is hard, especially when I'm the one with the problems.

I have felt similair feelings going through certain past trying moments. So I continue on my journey of trying to become more humble, patient  more like our Savior. He didn't live a pampered, luxurious and care free life. He lived perfectly, and he lived humbly and went through extreme pain and suffering. He lived a life in the perfect SELFLESS way. . .his life was not HIS it was to serve, it was for US. Living in this "ME" society (as heard in Conference of which I loved),  I am forever in debt to HIM for the LIFE he has given. . .another chance to become hopefully what he needs me to be......

Monday, April 13, 2009

2 More

 I continue to pack and as I was packing my Willow Tree figures, it really touched me.  I have been given these figures from people I love when going through tender, happy, sad and challenging experiences.  I have about 25 and each symbolizes a specific experience in our married life. This one particularly stood out to me today. 3 years ago Doctors told me an infection would most likely lead to taking out my "baby organs" and that I would not be able to have any more children.  I vividly remember telling them they would not and that I had 2 more spirits coming to us. I felt them. Today one of those miracles is little Beau and now I am pregnant with my third and probably last biological child. I thank my Heavenly Father every moment for the tender mercies he continues to send to us. Life is Beautiful.

Bamboo Plant

A bamboo plant. I was given a small bamboo plant after struggling with my health while we lived in our Alpine home from my sweet visiting teacher. She knew we were so excited to be building our very first home in Lehi , and said it would be for good luck in our new home. The plant has thrived for almost 3 years of which we have been blessed here in Pretts Place. A few months ago I saw that it was struggling and though I continued to water it, its ends never  renewed. As I was starting to pack my home decor today in prep to move, I left the little plant out. As I thought back I had a thought, it really knows, we are moving on and a part has died. For me, those are some feelings I have been experiencing. I know we are to move on, but a part of my heart with the sweet experiences and memories I have had here is coming to an end. . . .I will always have a part of my heart here.  Maybe I'll plant it in a new little pot and the little guy will thrive again when we are settled. I feel peace and know we will be blessed.

Saturday, April 11, 2009

Here We Go!

Our Home was posted for sale this last Wednesday. . . . it sold Thursday. I guess it really was meant to be. We have been so greatful for the time we've been allowed to take care of this home and now we must move on. We will miss our life here but know we will be blessed wherever we must go. Bitter Sweet. I am excited for the new family that will enjoy the Love, People and Life here. Thank you for all who have helped us along the way. Pretts Place was good to us.

Luvs, Gpants

Monday, April 6, 2009

Sweet Babes and Homeschool

So my kids are growing way to fast and with my 3rd and probably last on the way, it feels surreal.  Of late little Beau has begun to act oh, maybe 3 or 4years old. You can go ask her to bring you ointment and she'll run to her bathroom find the desitin and bring it back to you. She also has has started to laugh hysterically at jokes and funniness on the TV. She asks where Dad and CharLee are ,and says her own prayer with no help! "Heavenly Father, Dank doo for DADA, CharLee, Moma Puppy. Bless Food and DADA. name Jesus Christ Amen". . . it goes something like that:) Yesterday she brought me a tissue since I've had a horrible cold, and then when I was finished she took it from me and smiled and said,"Garbage!" and then raced it to the garbage in the kitchen. She is obsessed with Monsters Inc.  and she has started to sing like Boo. She also loves her princesses and still finds Daddy to show him her new look for the day, "Pretties!" 

CharLee is doing so well. He still continues to amaze me with his brilliance. He has been busy writing his Chapter Books. He sits down and writes around a 20 page book and illustrates it. Who does that in first grade? I was still trying to sound out Cat and Dog. He is very excited to start home school and so are we. We have decided to structure it something like this:

Typical Day at Moma and Dada's School

6-7 Excercise/ Shower 
8-9am Family scriptures, devotional and prayer/breakfast cleanup
915 In "Moma's" school/ Flag Pledge
930 Piano Practice
10 English/ read, write, grammar,spelling, creative writing
11 Right start Math
12 History/Science 
(Matthew has opted to teach History , to include: American, Church, Asia and Greece for this year)
LUNCH  made by the kids (cooking lesson time:)
Thursdays- Art, Art theory and Art History      
Tuesdays- Music History and Workshops

Bedtime: Read 20 min a day from our monthly Novel

We will be done by 1 pm and we will not have school on Fridays so we can go on field trips, library, play and clean the home together. . . we will have so much fun!

While I have CharLee going on his assignments, I am going to start teaching Beau fun Preschool stories, rhymes, art and just good play time.  I'll basically bounce back in forth. 
We are going to have a dedicated school room/space in which will be for educating CharLee and plenty of toys, games and play dough for Beau. I feel this is going to be such good quality time with our children. We are blessed to have this opportunity to teach them. Now its time to prep over the summer and get ready for the fun!

Friday, April 3, 2009


So for those who voted California, I am sorry to say that we will not be moving there. The circumstances have led us to stay here in Utah for now and find a home to rent. We will hopefully be moving out sometime in May if we can find a home that quickly.  I am relieved my Luv is home and now it is just stress time trying to put the plan in order and actually act, especially when right now it feels very overwhelming on many levels, however I am so thankful to have some answers. I will try to stay positive and pray I can start feeling a little better to be more proactive in getting things done. A new chapter of life awaits, I know we will be led to where we need to be.

Thursday, April 2, 2009

Luv , High Def and Baby

So the Luv has been in California for the past few days to film and hopefully he will return with our verdict of moving, Yeah! I can't wait to pick him up tomorrow, 6pm sharp, Luv here I come. And not am I only anxious to give kisses but I really am need of his help, especially with lil Beau. It has been a little bit of a challenge juggling all this while feeling preggo crummy

On a side note, CharLee was seen by Dr. Chapman on Monday and his neck procedure went flawlessly. After he said," Mom I can see in Blue Ray High Def, and I am really loud when I talk!" and speaking of talking, he talked the whole way home with complete clarity, no reps, and everything made perfect sense. Could this really be the blessing we have waited for to help his Autistic tendencies? So far, I have made a real note of his diminishing stems.  When I saw the difference in the xrays I was astonished at how disconnected his little brain stem and spine were. . . the after was completely symmetrical, perfect and the DR. replied that there would be more electrical and blood flow to areas of his brain that were lacking, it may just take a little while to create new connection patterns.  I am proud of my lil guy.
I also went to the Baby Doc this week and saw my little one , and there was just one whew!  I am always touched and amazed at Heavenly Fathers miracles. I am very excited and know that aside from what I was planning, this little spirit is coming at the perfect timing. . . he has a mission and couldn't wait any longer. 
Have a good sleep Luv and ni-night to all my friends.