Thursday, October 9, 2008

Gratitude Moment

In Awe
While CharLee was at school today I listened to a BYU program on autism. I began thinking about when CharLee was 2-3yrs and finding out he was or had autistic tendencies. I remember feeling overwhelmed and broken hearted for his future, and I remember being naive to it all in a way. I really wanted to believe that there was nothing different about my first son I was so closely bonded with. I could not see it as clearly because he did respond to me; unlike others who were trying to connect. I also remember his tutors in California telling me I must be inspired because of how he reacts with me. I did feel Heavenly Father guided and gave that connection. Now that I have little Isabeau and realizing what is so called "normal" ,I can see why loved ones were concerned. I vividly remember knowing with out a doubt that he would progress and live a normal life and for that matter have a brilliance about his "differences." Last night I went in to his SEP with his school teacher. She sat I, Matthew and CharLee down and then went on to say he was a perfect student in every way and was even 4 levels ahead in areas 4 years ago there were concerns. I know Heavenly Father has blessed him and us in ways we might not even understand. I am so incredibly grateful and in awe of my children, coming into a world of so much confusion. I pray I can be the Mother and guidance they will need to succeed , in whatever capacity. I feel inadequate at times, and so put my whole trust in our Father that he will guide me as a perfect tool in mothering these precious spirits.

2 comments:

Team Hancock said...

How blessed am I! What a unexpected and fantastic surprise Ash.I wanted to call you back immediately and relish in the inspiration. And now I get this beautifully intune post about our friendship. Isn't it great to go arm in arm laughing, crying, talking,playing and sometimes wondering through this crazy world?Now we just need bonnets and aprons! You make me feel like a superhero. Thank you for being my Dearest.
Syd

Anderegg & Co. said...

What a beautiful tribute to you, as a mother. You are amazing!